10 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Birth

I have this common theme so far on my blog of keeping it real. So here I go again with keeping it 100% when it comes to the things no one tells you about when you are pregnant.

When I first became pregnant I assumed a few things: I would get sick, I would get fat, & I would glow. Well it just so happens that is not always the case, and there is SO much more we don’t consider as women, that no one tells us about, or that people are scared or embarrassed to talk about. It’s absolutely incredible what our bodies are capable of doing- where we are both capable of going and capable of bouncing back from. The human body is an amazing thing!!

I made sure to ask as many questions as possible. Fortunately many women in my circle had had children before so I was like a sponge soaking up as much information as possible. Like anything in life, whether it be beauty, body, food/restaurants, I always love a personal referral. Nothing gives you more information than talking to others who have been through it before. So throw away those baby books that tell you things like you can’t eat cheese, you can’t sleep on your side, you can’t breathe or blink, etc. Those books just scare you & that’s how the whole ‘stick up the ass’ mom type begins. No one wants to be that mom, come on.

Remember, *EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IS DIFFERENT*. Just like every pregnancy & every child is different.

Having said that, here are the top ten things that surprised me most from the second I found out I was pregnant to the moment I came home with Jaxon. I feel much more prepared going into this pregnancy, but even though knowledge is power, it still won’t stop the hemorrhoids from coming. I told you it gets weird.

1.YOU MIGHT THROW UP,  YOU MIGHT NOT

The reason I initially thought I was pregnant with Jaxon was because my nipples were tender to the touch, I’m talking extremely sensitive. I was also super sensitive to smells. I vividly remember being super excited about this healthy crockpot sweet potato chili recipe I was making for Tyler. The smell of it made me so dang nauseous. The next day we had a huge Thanksgiving party & I could hardly eat. There was SO much food that I knew I would have normally easily binged on, but I couldn’t do it. And the next morning? It felt like I was going to throw up all day. I initially thought I was hung over, even though I had only a couple cocktails. With a two hour drive back to Boston, I couldn’t wait any longer- we pulled over into a McDonald’s and I took a test, and that’s how we romantically found out we were pregnant.

That day was full of emotions, and the following week I was throwing up non stop. The next day I was in TJ Maxx Home Goods aka ‘The Holy Place,’ and I made the mistake of smelling every single candle. Well that mixture of smells  led me to ditch my cart of cooking utensils and Christmas decor, run to my car and try to make it home. I made it half a mile before I pulled over to the closest Dunkin Donuts & threw up in their bathroom #classy. This continued all week- a sexy combo of throwing up, only being able to have Gatorade & saltine crackers, and going back and forth between the shivers and sweats.

Thankfully my sickness with my first pregnancy only lasted a week, and it honestly could have been brought on by the shock and every emotion in the book. This pregnancy I had zero sickness. But some women will experience nausea, sickness & smell sensitivity through their third trimester. Every woman is different. It’s one of those expect the worsts and pray for the best situations.

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2. FIND A WAXING GIRL ASAP

So you don’t really think about something as small as this, but well when your belly gets big enough, you can no longer see your vagina. It’s so weird! So if you are currently shaving your who-ha, eventually it’s going to end up looking like Stevie Wonder was working the razor. I suggest finding a  waxing girl. Waxing is not only better for your skin & hair follicles, but it lasts a lot longer. I would definitely at the very least suggest getting a wax before the baby is due. Your sweet girl is going to go through trauma & stitching so you won’t be able to take care of down there for awhile.

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3. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR VAGINA

.. Moreover with the vagina talk, it does change. I always knew it would change with child birth but I had no idea it changed during my pregnancy. This doesn’t happen to everybody, but it is a common change. In short: Your body’s producing more blood now that you’re pregnant, and trying to re-route most of it to your uterus, so baby can get enough nourishment. Essentially it is your body preparing for child birth. Nothing to worry about, it does go back! And if it doesn’t, thank God for plastic surgeons.

4. YOUR BOOBS WILL SOON BE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

I’m serious. It’s so dang sad. Pre-baby my boobs were prime time machine gun jugglees. A+ tits. Currently, six months pregnant with my second baby boy, I’m looking straight out of a National Geographic magazine. I mean there is a common theme for pregnancy: everything gets bigger & darker. Your boobs, your nipples, your vagina, your ass, your lips (that I can handle), everything. What shocked me most was how big my nipples got.. I was like what the hell is going on here?!

Don’t worry, all of this is normal, and your boobs and nipples will return. They won’t be back completely though, especially if you breastfeed. My boobs were so large and in charge leading up to birth, I had no idea it was just a preview of what boob life was like after the baby came. I breastfed and they got even BIGGER! I was walking around the house holding them up because they were so heavy. Mine returned to semi-normal for the most part, but because they got so huge when I breastfed (I’m talking G’s), when they shrunk back down it caused a little deflated balloon look, the boob skin was a little saggy. Sad story. But you know what that’s called? Battle wounds, baby.

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5. YOUR SKIN WILL CHANGE, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

Now skin health has always been important to me. I’ve been fortunate enough to never really struggle with acne with the exception of the occasional small breakout or pimple here and there. But with this pregnancy, I looked like a 14 year old teenage boy entering high school during my first trimester. I tried my best to not wear make up, do my daily skin care routine, but nothing was working. I had terrible breakouts around my mouth area and oil clogged pored on my forehead. Sadly, sometimes you can’t control the hormones rushing through your body.

My first pregnancy? I was glowing, girl. I had the occasional dry skin, but that could have been due to the New England winter, too. My point is this- every pregnancy is different. Some women glow, some break out, but it will change. There is the old wives tale that “girls take the beauty from you, and boys give you a glow.” But at the end of the day they both take away your jawline, so just focus on what you can control with drinking lots of water & keeping up with your skin routine!

6. POOPING DURING BIRTH

Soooo just going to get straight to the point. During your delivery, there is a solid chance you will poop while giving birth. I had NO idea this was a thing until I started talking to other moms who have gone through it before. They all told me “oh you’ll poop, just accept it now.” I was mortified! But they all reassured me that you are so in the moment that you and your significant other won’t notice.

Now I was on a time crunch with my first because Jaxon was due the day Tyler left for training camp, so I was doing everything I could to induce myself- drinking raspberry tea, eating spicy food, doing squats, bouncing on a medicine ball, sex, you name it. The final straw was the castor oil. Now this is generally used as a laxative, and causes your muscles to contract, thus putting you into labor (if your body is ready). Thankfully this allowed me to “release” before labor so I did not poop! I was so relieved. During labor when Jaxon first was coming into this world my OB said “he’s almost here, Dad do you want to see?” I screamed, “DID I POOP?!” She said no and I said “Okay, he can look!!” haha. Let’s hope I have the same luck this time around. Regardless if you do or don’t, the experience is so overwhelmingly powerful and beautiful that I’m sure all the other mamas are right, you don’t even notice.

7. TO QUOTE THE SPICE GIRLS “TWO BECOME ONE”

Again, something I had no idea was possible. Your vagina and butthole will soon turn into one big hole. Thankfully this did not happen to me so I can’t speak from experience, but this IS possible and does happen to many women. Good news though? You will be on such a high holding your new baby boy or girl that you won’t notice the stitching going on. Even better news? When you get the green light to have sex again, you’re as tight as a virgin, baby. It’s like it never happened.

8. PEEZING IS A REAL THING

Start laughing? You’ll pee a little. Sneeze? You’ll definitely pee. This happens not only during pregnancy, but after you have children, as well. And you can’t control it. I “peezed” in a Costco the other week, and just the other night while making dinner Ty had me laughing that I legit peed my pants. Grown woman, just peeing herself, whattup motherhood. So yeah, I don’t think that ever goes away 🙂

9. BREASTFEEDING ISN’T FOR EVERYONE

I can’t stress how important this one is. I went into my first pregnancy thinking “oh, I’m 100% breastfeeding for as long as I can.” I even would question why other women chose not to breastfeed. I had no idea what was in store for me. Again, *every woman and every baby is different.* My experience was a terrible experience. I was crying everyday, I was depressed, my nipples were bleeding, my boobs were so full they hurt and I would have heating pads on them non-stop. Jaxon couldn’t latch on because my boobs were so large. I saw lactation specialists a handful of times, and Jaxon just wasn’t getting the nutrients he needed. It wasn’t a good experience for either of us.

I continued to try and try but it just wasn’t working. One night I had woke up in the middle of the night with a 104* fever with extreme night sweats, shivering to my core. I was throwing up non stop, and my boobs were extremely sore. Come to find out I had Mastitis and had to go on antibiotics and strictly pump. I went from pumping 34 ounces a day to 2 ounces. It was so sad. But I knew I had given my son the “liquid gold” for a few months, and that I had tried everything in my power to breastfeed as long as I could. And you know what? He is perfect.

Long story short, my advice is this: do what works best for you and your baby. I got so caught up in what I thought society wanted me to do, what other women thought, and comparing myself to other moms who had great experiences. And hey, maybe you will be one of those women who can breast feed for as long as they want. But at the end of the day, the best thing you can be for your child is a happy and healthy mother. You will still get that skin to skin touch because you are holding them all day. Formulas are so advanced now that he or she will still get all the nutrients they need. Pumping so that you can give them the liquid gold those first eight weeks is always an option. And if your baby just isn’t latching on, or it’s hurting you mentally too much, then let me tell you this- IT’S OKAY, BABE.

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10. DON’T STRESS OVER YOUR HOSPITAL BAG

Leading up to the welcoming of Jaxon I was making lists on lists on lists on how we can best be prepared for the baby to come home. I was so stressed all the time “we need to order this still .. I have to get this at the store.. I, I, I, we, we, we, he, he, he needs this and that.” Let me tell you what. After stressing so much about what pajamas I “needed” and what hospital robe would be cutest, I didn’t open my hospital bag once.

You’ll  be in a hospital gown damn near the entire time you are there, you will be wearing a hospital grade diaper from the stitching, and make up, cuteness, and those dinky little pads you bought won’t even cross your mind. I’ll be doing a post coming soon about what you DO need to bring in your bag (simple and easy), but until then, don’t stress. The only thing you need to prep for your baby coming home is a clean, stress free house, DoorDash app for food, a Netflix list of shows and movies ready to go, and a place for your baby to sleep. The rest you will figure out. After all, that’s what motherhood is all about- figuring it out one day at a time.

5 thoughts on “10 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy & Birth

  1. Kristen…you look gorgeous! If I might add a few things about pregnancy from my experience. I’ve been at this rodeo a couple of times! First pregnancy…people are pulling out chairs and telling you to get off your feet, second pregnancy and from then on…you could move furniture and no one cares! Breast feeding is supposed to come naturally just like so-called “natural childbirth”…it’s a lie…both of these are extremely hard to master. My first born ended up admitted to the PEDS unit because I didn’t realize he wasn’t latching or eating, he ended up dehydrated and jaundiced. Lord, was he yellow and YES, I read all the books! I used a lactation consultant as well and there were times I would sit in a rocking chair with him and ask WTH the problem was!! He didn’t have the answers either. Painful engorged boobs, cracked, bloodied nipples finally became a thing of the past and it did become easier. Turns out, it isn’t something every baby instinctively knows how to do and with some time we mastered it but it isn’t for everybody. Women have to stop being so damn judgmental! Back to natural childbirth, if the baby comes out of you…and wasn’t transplanted by aliens…then it’s natural. Nothing unnatural about giving birth so take whatever is offered to ease the process. Do you Boo..do you! Can we discuss stripping the membranes or mucous plugs??? Second pregnancy Dr decides to try that to “ease” things along after an internal (2 finger sweep = OMG OUCH)…instant cramping. Hours later I am out picking up things for the “dreaded” hospital bag (Jolly Ranchers & lip balm..the important stuff) when I sneeze in my BFF’s HUSBAND’S CAR…wasn’t sure if I peed or my water broke. No way I was going to the hospital as a veteran without knowing for sure so I asked a neighbor for one of his PH test strips from his fish tank…sure enough my water broke in my BFF’s HUSBAND’S CAR. To this day, he still doesn’t know and my daughter is almost 25. As for childbirth, I gave birth to 5 children and not ONCE did I go into labor. Never had my soap opera moment of clutching my belly and saying “Honey, it’s time!” Had Baby #4 on my own birthday because the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl & somebody had to make the chili! I put her in a Snugli at 4 days old and took her to the supermarket. If I had a dollar for every person who asked me if she was a doll or a real baby…I’d be a millionaire. Miraculously, no one got punched. By Baby #5 you would think she would have fallen out of me or quite possibly walked out but NOPE…did the walk of shame twice and finally gave birth on my third admittance. Third time’s the charm! I have more but I think I have given you more than enough to digest. Moral of the story, everybody’s journey is different, there is no wrong way when the goal is the same. Healthy, happy Mom = healthy, happy baby. Be patient, be good to yourself & remember all of these things are moments in time not life sentences. Oh yeah…don’t take yourself too seriously…try to find the humor in everything. Sorry for the novel! More Twitter pics please!! xoxo ~N

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Nancy thank you so much for your personal response!! You have been through it, mama- you’re a pro! I also never had the movie moment of my water breaking. In fact I had a small trickle down the l leg, then again an hour later, and again the next hour. I was thinking “Ty has camp coming up, he needs sleep so don’t wake him” and waited 4 hours until I finally woke him up! Definitely not like the movies haha. And at the end of the day, like you said, a healthy, happy mom= healthy, happy baby. As I go into this next chapter with two boys now, at the end of the day I tell myself exactly that, and the rest will get figured out. I’ll be sure to upload more pics via Twitter! XO!

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